When I was a pre-teen my teeth were crooked and I ended up getting braces in a the 7th grade. It was common for those my age to be embarrassed by braces and many were teased unmercifully. For most it was a period of humiliation and feeling of inadequacy. I have often wondered how many therapists have built their careers repairing the self esteem of those who suffered the affliction of braces.
Oddly, for me the issue of braces had exactly the opposite effect. Rather than a source of shame there was a sense of pride and I considered them a status symbol. In the little town I grew up in the youth with braces were the children of the executives and the middle to upper middle class. It was also an issue that most of the "cool kids" were dealing with and having braces changed my identity to being one of that circle. Even teasing had an opposite effect, instead of a putdown it was a reminder that I had stepped up the status ladder.
So what's that have to do with recovery?
There are so many responses people have to entering treatment and recovery. For some it's a sense of shame for what they feel is a major failure. For others it's anger at being forced to go into treatment for a "minor" problem. Then there are those who experience a sense of relief entering treatment because they're finally getting help. The point with this is that being in treatment and recovery don't change but it is the individual's attitude that will define the experience. And that mindset is often makes the difference between success and failure.
In 12 step work, counseling and therapy we are challenged to examine our attitudes and assumptions about life. We are asked to let go of our beliefs and engage in the process of change. And we are asked to practice new behaviors long enough for new ways of thinking to open up. As simplistic as it may seem, the way you see your recovery will often define the quality of your recovery.
Have a great August
John
Oddly, for me the issue of braces had exactly the opposite effect. Rather than a source of shame there was a sense of pride and I considered them a status symbol. In the little town I grew up in the youth with braces were the children of the executives and the middle to upper middle class. It was also an issue that most of the "cool kids" were dealing with and having braces changed my identity to being one of that circle. Even teasing had an opposite effect, instead of a putdown it was a reminder that I had stepped up the status ladder.
So what's that have to do with recovery?
There are so many responses people have to entering treatment and recovery. For some it's a sense of shame for what they feel is a major failure. For others it's anger at being forced to go into treatment for a "minor" problem. Then there are those who experience a sense of relief entering treatment because they're finally getting help. The point with this is that being in treatment and recovery don't change but it is the individual's attitude that will define the experience. And that mindset is often makes the difference between success and failure.
In 12 step work, counseling and therapy we are challenged to examine our attitudes and assumptions about life. We are asked to let go of our beliefs and engage in the process of change. And we are asked to practice new behaviors long enough for new ways of thinking to open up. As simplistic as it may seem, the way you see your recovery will often define the quality of your recovery.
Have a great August
John
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