Alcoholism and chemical dependency aren’t the only areas where people have difficulty achieving change. In fact, chronic relapse is a problem for anyone who is working to change an old behavior or start practicing a new one. Diabetes, heart disease and weight loss are all well known for having individuals continue unhealthy behavior despite severe negative consequences. People also experience difficulty not only starting but maintaining a new exercise program, saving money or even learning and practicing how to play a musical instrument. In this sense relapse is part of the process of change.
Below are three simple steps I’ve found that help to achieve and maintain a new way of life. They don’t require “finally hitting bottom.” They don’t require perfection. All you need is a commitment to the process. These aren’t a replacement for other recovery activities; they’re a way to organize how we approach change.
Draw a line in the sand
Wake up one morning and decide today is the day your life starts changing. Write that date down and post it in a place you'll see it every day when you get up.
Relapsing never means you’re starting over, that date doesn’t change. The date represents your commitment to change; a relapse is simply a bump in the road.
Remember; even if you relapse you never start over. You have learned. You have changed. A relapse is simply a reminder that there is more to do.
Do something every day
Change is achieved in small increments of new activities and ways of thinking. Each day take at least one healthy action. Each day, make at least one decision to do something different.
If you reach the end of the day and realize you’ve done nothing that day regarding your goal then you have just worked the Alcoholics Anonymous 10th step. Chronic relapse often is accompanied by a chronic
sense of failure. When in the process of chronic relapse we become accustomed to putting all our attention on our failures. Our new goal is to focus our attention on the actions we are taking.
Prepare for problems
Each day, get some paper, sit down and think of one situation that would interfere with your commitment to sobriety. Write it down. Write out a healthy strategy for dealing with the situation. Be specific. Write down how you will feel after having dealt with the situation in a healthy manner.
By focusing on one situation at a time, your mind has a chance to really think through that specific problem area. It has the opportunity to rehearse the new behavior and to consider all possible outcomes. For these reasons, keep it simple and take one issue at a time.
In closing
I once had a coworker tell me this process gives people permission to relapse and not feel bad about it. Most people already feel bad enough about their struggles without anyone else dumping more shame and guilt on them. The goal of this strategy is to quit wasting your energy on feeling bad and start using that energy to achieve what you want.
Have a great day,
John Will
Below are three simple steps I’ve found that help to achieve and maintain a new way of life. They don’t require “finally hitting bottom.” They don’t require perfection. All you need is a commitment to the process. These aren’t a replacement for other recovery activities; they’re a way to organize how we approach change.
Draw a line in the sand
Wake up one morning and decide today is the day your life starts changing. Write that date down and post it in a place you'll see it every day when you get up.
Relapsing never means you’re starting over, that date doesn’t change. The date represents your commitment to change; a relapse is simply a bump in the road.
Remember; even if you relapse you never start over. You have learned. You have changed. A relapse is simply a reminder that there is more to do.
Do something every day
Change is achieved in small increments of new activities and ways of thinking. Each day take at least one healthy action. Each day, make at least one decision to do something different.
If you reach the end of the day and realize you’ve done nothing that day regarding your goal then you have just worked the Alcoholics Anonymous 10th step. Chronic relapse often is accompanied by a chronic
sense of failure. When in the process of chronic relapse we become accustomed to putting all our attention on our failures. Our new goal is to focus our attention on the actions we are taking.
Prepare for problems
Each day, get some paper, sit down and think of one situation that would interfere with your commitment to sobriety. Write it down. Write out a healthy strategy for dealing with the situation. Be specific. Write down how you will feel after having dealt with the situation in a healthy manner.
By focusing on one situation at a time, your mind has a chance to really think through that specific problem area. It has the opportunity to rehearse the new behavior and to consider all possible outcomes. For these reasons, keep it simple and take one issue at a time.
In closing
I once had a coworker tell me this process gives people permission to relapse and not feel bad about it. Most people already feel bad enough about their struggles without anyone else dumping more shame and guilt on them. The goal of this strategy is to quit wasting your energy on feeling bad and start using that energy to achieve what you want.
Have a great day,
John Will
RSS Feed