On multiple occasions I‘ve watched a client be guaranteed that if they would follow a particular course of action they would get specific results. In each case the person had expressed a desire for exactly the outcome that they were being assured they’d achieve. These were often desperate people who had been trapped by substance abuse, a failed relationship, legal or career problems or some other overwhelming issue. If they didn’t find a solution they would lose their freedom, someone they loved, their heath or something else they held dear in their lives.
But they turned the offer down. Sometimes it was an immediate “no, I don’t want to do that” or “let me think this through.” Other times it was agreeing to take a course of action but then not following through. While there are many reasons for this choice at its core the person is choosing the known over the unknown.
Luckily, it’s been a long time since my challenges have been even close to those listed above. But I still have them and at times I still struggle with taking action. My Achilles’ heal in this area has most often been letting go. I may know that change is needed. The course of action is clear. But the old patterns are comfortable and change means letting go of whatever belief I held or justification I used to stay in that unhealthy place. And letting go of that unhealthy place meant taking a risk, acting in a way that is uncomfortable or letting go of an old defense.
My solution to this has been to take the action. To, as the commercial says, just do it. I would just practice the new behavior and deal with the discomfort as I go along. I quit worrying about understanding or if I was ready to make a commitment and just took the action. And, remarkably, that works for me.
The assignment for the month is two-fold. First, identify some change you’ve resisted for much too long. Second, identify the strategy you use to accomplish change when you decide to just do it. That’s all you have to do. Once you’ve done those two tasks just watch how they interact.
John
But they turned the offer down. Sometimes it was an immediate “no, I don’t want to do that” or “let me think this through.” Other times it was agreeing to take a course of action but then not following through. While there are many reasons for this choice at its core the person is choosing the known over the unknown.
Luckily, it’s been a long time since my challenges have been even close to those listed above. But I still have them and at times I still struggle with taking action. My Achilles’ heal in this area has most often been letting go. I may know that change is needed. The course of action is clear. But the old patterns are comfortable and change means letting go of whatever belief I held or justification I used to stay in that unhealthy place. And letting go of that unhealthy place meant taking a risk, acting in a way that is uncomfortable or letting go of an old defense.
My solution to this has been to take the action. To, as the commercial says, just do it. I would just practice the new behavior and deal with the discomfort as I go along. I quit worrying about understanding or if I was ready to make a commitment and just took the action. And, remarkably, that works for me.
The assignment for the month is two-fold. First, identify some change you’ve resisted for much too long. Second, identify the strategy you use to accomplish change when you decide to just do it. That’s all you have to do. Once you’ve done those two tasks just watch how they interact.
John
RSS Feed