Several of the twelve steps programs use the admonishment to “stick with winners.” While some would say that this means in order to stay sober one must avoid users, that misses the point. The goal is not to avoid users but to engage with those who represent achieving healthy change in their lives. One program put it best when they said “we found it necessary to stick with winners in order to grow.”
The area I’ve always considered the most interesting is how I as an individual define growth for me. What is it exactly that I want to change about myself? How would I like it to be different? And, how will I know when I’ve achieved the change? Just answering these simple questions has always propelled me on the road of change.
Another part of this process has been to identify those that have the qualities I want. Not to imitate them or have them tell me “how it’s done” but to use them as a model of successful. I listen not to what they think but how they think. I watch how they go about facing challenges. How do they recover from disappointments or set backs? What do they say and how do they behave when faced with a frustrating situation? These observations provide me with new strategies and options to try out. Again, the goal isn’t to imitate these people but to learn their strategies through observation.
The oddest part of this approach to change is that it has consistently worked. Without fail when I’ve applied it to even the most stubborn character defect it has worked. The only question is whether I’m serious about wanting change.
John
The area I’ve always considered the most interesting is how I as an individual define growth for me. What is it exactly that I want to change about myself? How would I like it to be different? And, how will I know when I’ve achieved the change? Just answering these simple questions has always propelled me on the road of change.
Another part of this process has been to identify those that have the qualities I want. Not to imitate them or have them tell me “how it’s done” but to use them as a model of successful. I listen not to what they think but how they think. I watch how they go about facing challenges. How do they recover from disappointments or set backs? What do they say and how do they behave when faced with a frustrating situation? These observations provide me with new strategies and options to try out. Again, the goal isn’t to imitate these people but to learn their strategies through observation.
The oddest part of this approach to change is that it has consistently worked. Without fail when I’ve applied it to even the most stubborn character defect it has worked. The only question is whether I’m serious about wanting change.
John
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